Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Tonight I listened to good music. I cannot explain why I am awake so late tonight other then any other night since Debbie passed. With one exception. Tonight I swear she was here. She made me feel like it was just any other night. Is there life after death? Can anyone prove or disprove it?  I know I've seen things that I couldn't talk about. I've felt things as well. Tonight isn't different. I felt my wife. I felt her touching my neck as only she could. I felt her breath and her sigh. I felt her love all around me. Was it simply an answer to a prayer? Was it just my imagination? Who can answer that? I don't think anyone can because if you were not here then you did not experience it. I did. I felt it maybe only in my way. I do not pretend to have answers for it. I just know that my love for my wife has grown daily while she has been gone just at it had when she was right here next to me. 

  To those who have never had true love I'll try to explain what it means to me.  When you lay down with the one you love it is simply amazing. It is almost like a electrical shock when they are comforted by your touch. You know it is just right. Everything just matched together just right. When Debbie and I would lay down next to each other there was just simply something that meshed just right. Our bodies met in such a way it was like we came out of the same mold.  If I could do it all over again I would without hesitation!  My wife is and always will be the most important person in my life. We helped raise our children the best we could. Certainly we made mistakes. There are so many things we both would have done differently. Parents don't have it as easy as our children think. When our children grow up and then become parents they see what we went through. We did our best. Sure we made mistakes. But one thing Debbie and I did right was to love each other and if we taught our children that a true love is something you fight for! You never give up on and keep on going despite anything thrown at you then you show to your children that there is no giving up ever!

  The past month I have dealt with the loss of my wife. It has certainly been the hardest month of my life. I have never dealt well with death. I have lost loved ones before but nothing like this. How can one compare the loss of a loved one with the one who is supposed to be your life partner? The one who you are supposed to spend your ending years together? Debbie and I had so many plans. Plans now that I am supposed to carry on without her. I will do what she wanted to do but how to do it without her? That is the hardest part. Debbie and I were partners and dealt with everything together. 

  As far as going on without her. Well I'll carry her in my heart because I feel her there. She hasn't left me and  I do not think she ever will. See we believed in the same things. Debbie and I loved so much and to a degree that most will never find. I hope I am proven wrong on that but true love seems to be a lost art. All you have to do is to open your eyes. My Mom and Dad have it. I found it. My brothers have it. True love is just to open your eyes and enjoy every single minute. I did. I never cared if anyone else said anything. Debbie stayed with me to the day she went to Heaven! I do believe in heaven because I know God has a place for me and I know that Jesus escorted her through the gates of heaven. Debbie died here on earth but I will join her. 

  I have to believe in that because I have nothing else to believe in and when she visited me this evening only God could have allowed it! 

  So to
Chris, Stephanie, Tommy 

  I want you all to know this, Mom is safe and happy, She watches over us and will always be with us and when it is time we will see her again. She is happy and healthy and loves and misses us and doesn't want us to hurry. She will watch and see us grow older. For yall to raise your children and to always remember her. Share her memories and remember how much she loves us all. 

  I share this with others because I want everyone to see how much of a perfect woman I had married and had the amazing wonder to see how such a woman could affect so many. I am truly a very lucky man who loved and now has to wait to join his wife.

No comments:

Post a Comment