I apologize for not posting last night. I fell asleep very early and was beat. Seems the harder I work the less that I get done. Sunday will be one month that Debbie passed away and I miss her so much. I find it harder and harder to let go of her things which is something I know I need to do. Debbie is the light of my life and it has not gotten any dimmer. I just wish I could hold her. The morning she passed wakes me up every night.
Every single night with her was a blessing and every single morning I received a kiss from her that let me know she would look forward to my return. Now I ask myself why I did not do more or see what was happening and why the hell she was taken.
Our cat has always been one to be close to me and her but now its just me and he hates when I head out in the morning and when I come in for lunch its almost like I'd been gone for days. At night he follows me from room to room. Where I sit he sits and where I lay he lays.
Debbie would be so proud at how often I talk to our boys now. Tommy called me tonight and I will stop doing anything to talk to him. I do the same for Chris.
My mom calls or texts me almost everyday. My brothers and sister in laws always make certain to check on me. I suppose I need to talk to someone who did not know Debbie and share my feelings with them but I choose to be around those I know well.
Tomorrow I'll try to post more about our history depending on how my day goes.
Life. And what it brings to us
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