Another Long Night.

As always I think of my wife. Debbie was not just a wife she was truly my partner. In everything I wanted to do she supported me. The most amazing woman I have ever met. Deb never feared the risks I took nor would she say she did not like it. Deb supported me in ways that even to this day most men would say " I cannot do that because my wife said no". Instead Debbie would tell me that that I needed to be careful. Every single morning she told me that when I walked out the door. A simple two word saying. "Be Careful"
We did not have to have another word after that. We had already kissed, We had already hugged, Everything else waited until I was home!


I knew that she waited for me to come home. What she thought about while I was away I can only go by what she told me. Some days she was missing me and some days she watched over a excellent child who I will not mention here.

Tonight I think of her as I always do. For those who have never experienced loss like this all I can say is that I pray that you do not. It by far has been the hardest thing I have ever been through! To this very minute I think of Debbie and wish she was right here beside me. I can walk unto the floor where she died and called out my name. I can still smell her hair and feel holding her. I have felt that.

Tonight I find myself thinking of Debbie. Wait! Thats not entirely true. I think of her every single night. Even when I have company or busy during the day. How can someone who you are certain is now walking with Jesus isn't still with you at the same time? Deb is my angel and now is a angel in heaven I have no doubt. I know I should not ask why but still with what happens in these days and times I have to wonder why she was taken at such a young age away from me and our children? Nothing about it seems fair. Debbie meant so much to so many and I cannot even begin to understand. Perhaps its not for me to understand but the loss is so great and the heartbreak is almost more then I can bear. I have to wonder and worry. I love her so much that the pain is almost more then I can stand. I do it for our children. I have discovered that no other can ever take her place and I am comfortable in that. I will wait until we are back together and no matter how long it takes I will always love and think of her each and every single day. I love you Baby and I wish I could hold you in my arms right now. Those who wronged you will pay! This I swear!