I stayed pretty busy the last few days. I prefer it that way because I can look forward to the evening. Evenings and nighttime are still the hardest for me. I still reach over in the bed looking for Deb. I even call out her name. It has been nearly two months but seems longer or like it happened this morning at times.
When we are kids our parents teach us about life and sometimes about death but something they cannot convey because of no fault of their own is how to deal with the loss of not only a spouse but best friend and soulmate.
What if any words can explain the feelings that go through right to the heart? I really don't think words can say anything when put into that position. You just find your own way out of it and thank God for the time you had and all the memories both good and bad because they made it all work out.
I don't know if love like that will ever come to me again. One thing I do know is that God has graced me with a love beyond reproach and that what happens next is simply a gift that I will never take for granted.
If it comes tomorrow or next week, even next year I will have to ask for permission because of who I have loved and lost.
I love you Deb with all my heart and soul and always will!
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